I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Your penis caused this!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
