I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
