This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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