I can tuck mytits in my pants
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize