look no pants
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
