discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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