She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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