Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
