Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling

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(310): View more from California

my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.

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(302): View more from Delaware

dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit

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(703): View more from Virginia

This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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(850): View more from Florida

"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?

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(480): View more from Arizona

Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.

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(716): View more from New York

This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.

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