this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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