you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
