The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
