oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
