This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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