Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize