The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
