I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
