i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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