Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
