party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
