Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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