Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
