**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Alive.
So much puke
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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