I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
