I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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