What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize