Don't you send me to vm
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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