i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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