don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
50% drunk capacity currently
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
