After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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