remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize