4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
