I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
