it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
