He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
