You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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