a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
