I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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