from now on my penis is your penis
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
