dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
