You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
