Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
