For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
