Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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