weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
