i just wanna soil my oats bro
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize