I smell stomach acid.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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