some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
