some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
