dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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