He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
