I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
