Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
