dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
