That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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