If i come over, it means nothing
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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