dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
