I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
