alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
