I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
